I want it to give me near magical power on hills. I want it to make me much, much faster, both at short distances and up to the marathon. Also, I'll probably start biking to work this spring, so I need it to give me more power on my bike.
But I don't want to do any speedwork, hill repeats/workouts, fartleks, cross training, midweek long runs, strides, pace runs, or any other real pushing myself. I also don't want to have to wake up early or change my lifestyle in any way.
Oh, and also? I want to lose weight with this training plan. But not if it involves interval training; I don't like that!
Disclaimer: I may be kidding above (most of it).
On I went, out of the wood, passing the man leading without knowing I was going to do so. Flip-flap, flip-flap, jog-trot, jog-trot, curnchslap-crunchslap, across the middle of a broad field again, rhythmically running in my greyhound effortless fashion, knowing I had won the race though it wasn't half over, won it if I wanted it, could go on for ten or fifteen or twenty miles if I had to and drop dead at the finish of it, which would be the same, in the end, as living an honest life like the governor wanted me to. -Alan Sillitoe, "Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner"