On I went, out of the wood, passing the man leading without knowing I was going to do so. Flip-flap, flip-flap, jog-trot, jog-trot, curnchslap-crunchslap, across the middle of a broad field again, rhythmically running in my greyhound effortless fashion, knowing I had won the race though it wasn't half over, won it if I wanted it, could go on for ten or fifteen or twenty miles if I had to and drop dead at the finish of it, which would be the same, in the end, as living an honest life like the governor wanted me to. -Alan Sillitoe, "Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner"
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Some small changes
I officially emailed earlier this week and resigned from Pikes Peak. My spot will go to someone on the wait list. This race is on my lifetime list, but after Mount Washington nearly killed me, I realize that doing it this year is much too much. I need to be stronger before I do it. New York is my fall goal, and I can't afford to do such a hard race all half-assed and have it take me that far away from my goal. Could I finish? Probably. Is it worth it? Not this year.
Also? I am racing too much. I know this. I know that it's wearing me out and that I've lost any thrill, at least with local races. I've been using the excuses - and you've seen these, if you've read this before - that they're cheap, they're easy, I like running with other people... but you know what else I like? Racing. I like running all out and knowing that I tried my hardest. And I can't do that when I'm doing a race every weekend. I went from not having anyone to run with earlier this year to group runs and races and crowding my schedule with less than ideal running experiences. I want to get back into a groove of running, maybe with a partner, maybe by myself, a regular schedule.