On I went, out of the wood, passing the man leading without knowing I was going to do so. Flip-flap, flip-flap, jog-trot, jog-trot, curnchslap-crunchslap, across the middle of a broad field again, rhythmically running in my greyhound effortless fashion, knowing I had won the race though it wasn't half over, won it if I wanted it, could go on for ten or fifteen or twenty miles if I had to and drop dead at the finish of it, which would be the same, in the end, as living an honest life like the governor wanted me to. -Alan Sillitoe, "Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner"

Thursday, August 19, 2010

I hate the elliptical machine

I'm going to the doctor in a couple of hours, so in the meantime I'll distract you with something unrelated.  The elliptical machine.
Dean Karnazes and the
"Elliptigo." How does that
dude get his name on
be his insane leg muscles.

Hate it, hate it, hate it.  I've said it before and I'm sure I'll say it again.

First off, it's unnatural: what on earth does that movement imitate?

Secondly, why does it measure "mileage"? What does that even mean?  You're not going anywhere.  No ground (fake or real) is moving beneath your feet.

And then, insult to injury, the other day I did 40 minutes on the stupid thing and it gave me vertigo. I almost fell leaving the gym and barely made it home without falling.  Yuck.

Now this odd green machine I can get behind, though - the Elliptigo.  You may have seen it featured on Running is Funny last week.  It's an elliptical machine... with wheels.  You can click the product link and watch some funny movies about it.

Anyway, deets on the doctor trip later.  By now my legs are feeling mostly better so I've convinced myself that I'm just weak.


  1. Good luck at your doctor's appointment!

    You hate ellipticals, I just stay away from them...big time!

  2. Hope your appointment went well! And I totally agree with your sentiment - can't stand the elliptical. While the treadmill is bad enough, at least you are recreating an actual life motion. The elliptical also makes my hips scream. I just can't do it without walking like an 80 year old lady afterwards...

  3. I don't know, before I started running I kind of liked the elliptical. But now I totally covet an elliptigo. That's badass.Hope your doctor told you good things...

  4. I haven't gotten on an elliptical since I started running, but I used to love it. And of course I totally want to commute to work in an elliptigo. Where do I sign up?