On I went, out of the wood, passing the man leading without knowing I was going to do so. Flip-flap, flip-flap, jog-trot, jog-trot, curnchslap-crunchslap, across the middle of a broad field again, rhythmically running in my greyhound effortless fashion, knowing I had won the race though it wasn't half over, won it if I wanted it, could go on for ten or fifteen or twenty miles if I had to and drop dead at the finish of it, which would be the same, in the end, as living an honest life like the governor wanted me to. -Alan Sillitoe, "Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner"

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Serves me right

When you live with someone who is obsessed with crossfit, and you refer to crossfit as a cult, even if the person you live with doesn't read your blog ever ever, you'll still be cursed.

My curse: I was challenged to try crossfit. I was promised that through it, I will become a faster runner. Since I do, um, no cross-training or strength training, I accepted this challenge. I've agreed to do crossfit for the next few months.* So far, after one day, all I've become is really irritated by my inability to master this "burpee" thing. I did 100 of them on Monday and couldn't wash my hair in the shower without squealing on Tuesday.**

It... hurts. My arms are like jello. Still, now I feel like I'm prepared to stay fit for if/when I'm incarcerated and I only have my cell to work out.

*I probably won't stick to this unless I'm reminded and harassed. I certainly don't want to. In fact, so far this week it's lasted all of one day.
**Not quite squealing. Maybe more like moaning in pain. Whenever I hear/use the word "squeal," I think of that scene from Deliverance. You know the one. It was not like that. Watch at your own risk:


  1. I totally thought of "squeal like a pig" when I read that, too, and then you had the clip conveniently posted for my amusement! Excellent! I have to admit I'm fascinated by / terrified of Crossfit and want to know how it turns out for you. If you get past the one day, that is. Do you have to have a special gym / trainer / classes / bags of money?

  2. I have my workout for tonight on a post-it in front of me: 100 squats, 100 push ups, 100 sit ups, and 25 negative pull-ups (down from 100 because I'm a weakling, and also I'll be using a chair for these because I suck). But my workout has been downgraded SIGNIFICANTLY since I evidently pulled something in an area that can only be non-decorously referred to as "side boob." Like, under my arm. It's been 3 days since the burpees and what I took for DOMS is seeming much more like a pulled muscle.

    So, anyway, to answer your question: this is all based on my vicarious knowledge of it, and to be honest and fair my eyes glaze over when I hear the word "crossfit." There are certainly gyms if you want a communal experience, but they're mad expensive. If you have the dedication to do it yourself, you just need new workouts regularly and the will to do it. Much of the workouts involve using your own body's resistance (thus burpees), although I gather kettlebells and jump ropes and other simple accoutrements are popular, too - things a normal gym has. I won't get that advanced.

  3. You refuse to watch my "Stand by Me" clip, yet you post this?

  4. Yes. Yes, that's correct.
    But that Stand By Me clip is really, really gross.

  5. I think going from doing zero burpees, squats, push-ups etc to 100 is a recipe for getting hurt, depressed, chuck the whole thing and decide you are never going to try anything like this again. What is wrong with starting from the beginning? You wouldn't wake up tomorrow and go run a 100-mile race, would you? (I hope you wouldn't). This whole all or nothing way that we think is so not helpful.

    Sorry, can you tell I have strong feelings about this?

    Ok, I'll shut up now.

  6. I agree with you. Absolutely. But then it's not crossfit. Try this:

  7. So is there a good crossfit link that outlines how it works? It is a mystery to me.

  8. Evidently what you want are the workouts. If you search for crossfit on youtube, or go to crossfit message boards you should find some.