On I went, out of the wood, passing the man leading without knowing I was going to do so. Flip-flap, flip-flap, jog-trot, jog-trot, curnchslap-crunchslap, across the middle of a broad field again, rhythmically running in my greyhound effortless fashion, knowing I had won the race though it wasn't half over, won it if I wanted it, could go on for ten or fifteen or twenty miles if I had to and drop dead at the finish of it, which would be the same, in the end, as living an honest life like the governor wanted me to. -Alan Sillitoe, "Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner"

Friday, April 1, 2011


April fools' edition!

1. Bone chillingly cold weather in late March/early April.

True story: my sophomore year of college, there was a foot of snow on April Fools' Day. Classes were canceled (an almost completely unprecedented event). I didn't believe classes were actually canceled, so I walked to class through unplowed streets. And found the door to the building locked. That's what you get when your classes have only three students in them and you're worried about your grades.

Anyway. It's not that I mind running in the cold. And I actually kind of like running in the rain. But both. In April. It's too much. How cliche to complain about the weather! But seriously - can't a girl get in a running skirt one of these days? Please? Usually by April I have my base layer mid-thigh runner's tan line already.

2. "Healthy living" blogs written by white girls with pictures of oatmeal and constant references to "The Hubs."

I eat a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast almost every morning. And let me tell you something. You don't want to see a picture of it. Why would you?

And I know I risk sounding bitter given that I'm unmarried, but if your every blog entry makes cutesy references to your husband (almost always referred to as "the Hubs")? I will stop reading. I will immediately know that I cannot relate to your life.

Finally: please. I'm as white as they come; I know that. I do not earn any sort of diversity cred by virtue of living in Harlem. And I know that running is largely a white, upper-middle-class pursuit. But can we not get some diversity up in the running blog community? Or rather, must every 25-35 year old white girl who's ever trained for a race also keep a blog? (YES. I get the irony.)

3. Foam rollers.

Because they hurt, and because people tell me I should use them. And I DON'T WANT TO.

4. People who make mouth noises.

Chewing with their mouth open, smacking their lips, that terrible Kit Kat commercial where the ad jingle is played with crunching noises... It all drives me absolutely bonkers. (This is not running related, btw. It just is what it is.)

How much better is this Indian Kit Kat commercial? I'm a sucker for talking animals. Sad but true.

5. Tie: My ridiculous sensitivity to caffeine/Being wide awake (and blogging) at 2am.

There wouldn't be a blog entry today if I had been able to fall asleep at a reasonable hour. But NO, I couldn't. You see, after a week without any caffeine, I had a glass of lavender white tea around 7pm and a cup of hot chocolate at 11pm. White tea - about 10mg of caffeine in a cup. (To compare: coffee - about 120mg.) Hot chocolate? It doesn't even have caffeine in it, yet it's keeping me awake. (The stimulant in chocolate is theobromine, but you knew that. I'm usually not sensitive to it even though it kills cats and dogs.)

Guess I'll change my alarm to 9am instead of 7am and push my run back a little bit...


  1. lolz lolz lolz lolz...


    Also, you need to drink more caffeine. Drink it early in the day and then you won't be sensitive anymore.


    (I am not a genius and actually have no idea what I'm talking about. But as someone who drinks a minimum of 12 cups of coffee a day, I am skeptical of the idea of sensitivity to caffeine. but you knew that. ;))

  2. You have NO IDEA how badly I wish that I were NOT sensitive to caffeine. I've tried EVERYTHING to break myself of this. If I have caffeine early in the morning, it STILL KEEPS ME UP AT NIGHT. I had ONE CUP OF TEA every morning for almost two weeks, and all it did was make me UNABLE TO SLEEP AT NIGHT. And there's this fine line where just a little bit too much caffeine makes me feel ill - like, really, really sick. IT SUCKS.

    Okay. I'll stop yelling. I just hate it hate it hate it.

  3. Ha! The Hubs, Hubz, Hubby or any derivation on that theme makes my TEETH ITCH! Thank you for being the bold one to say it out load! ;-)

  4. load=loud. Dammit. I haven't been caffeinated properly and should step away from the keyboard.

  5. I knew what you meant :)
    And misspelled words is NOT on my list of things that annoy me!

  6. LOL - you are braver than I. When I complain about similar sorts of things that bug me, I get called out...

  7. I loooooathe mouth noises. Just this morning my boss came in my office and stood behind me while chewing gum. I wanted to do murder.

    Healthy living blog community: a bunch of privileged white girls queefing and jizzing all over each other.

    The End.

  8. I like you when you're overcaffeinated. And hubby is the worst fake word ever invented.

  9. I totally agree about the open-mouth chewing. There was a girl on my team in college who smacked her chewing gum NONSTOP. I had to sit by her on a bus trip one time. When she went to the bathroom, I stole her pack of gum.

  10. I'm with you on the "foam rollers" thing. Seriously.