Miles 1-2
Yay! Running in the rain! This is fun! It's like you're a kid again! You must know some songs about rain, Tracy! What are they? Oh, right:
Look - another runner! Oh, she's unfriendly. Listen. You and I are the only runners around for miles. You can smile back at me, lady.
OMG, there are no runners around for miles. Could I be appearing on a "ripped from the headlines" episode of Law & Order: SVU next season? Okay, better be more aware of your surroundings... there are a lot of bushes here. Lots of places for bad guys to hang out.
Mile 3
Okay, phew, a cyclist. I'm not alone. Wait - is he wearing white bike shorts? Really? In the rain? White? You go on with your bad self, I guess.
The West Side Highway under the George Washington Bridge smells a lot like wet dog tonight. If that wet dog were vomiting and defecating at the same time.
New music! What other songs do you know about rain? Well, there's Prince:
No, I don't know any of the words to that song besides the chorus. But there's always - oh, no, oh no -
Mile 4
Must. Get. That. Song. Out. Of. My. Head. Replacement:
Okay, it's not about rain. But it's got a good cadence, I know all the words, and if you sing the chorus as "rain, rain" instead of "dance, dance," it works.
They're from Chicago! My brother's friends have partied with them! I wonder if it's true what my brother told me, that the lead singer always wears a hat because he's bald? While I'm on it, I wonder what really broke up Pete Wentz and Ashley Simpson? And I wonder if Pete Wentz was really upset that his penis pictures leaked, or if he's secretly another Anthony Weiner? [ed. note: it would be embarrassing to admit how much time I spent on this topic.]
Mile 5
The leggies are feeling very fresh tonight! No, you did not just say "leggies," not even when you were having a conversation with yourself, did you really now?
Yay! Running in the rain! This is fun! It's like you're a kid again! You must know some songs about rain, Tracy! What are they? Oh, right:
Look - another runner! Oh, she's unfriendly. Listen. You and I are the only runners around for miles. You can smile back at me, lady.
OMG, there are no runners around for miles. Could I be appearing on a "ripped from the headlines" episode of Law & Order: SVU next season? Okay, better be more aware of your surroundings... there are a lot of bushes here. Lots of places for bad guys to hang out.
Mile 3
Okay, phew, a cyclist. I'm not alone. Wait - is he wearing white bike shorts? Really? In the rain? White? You go on with your bad self, I guess.
The West Side Highway under the George Washington Bridge smells a lot like wet dog tonight. If that wet dog were vomiting and defecating at the same time.
New music! What other songs do you know about rain? Well, there's Prince:
No, I don't know any of the words to that song besides the chorus. But there's always - oh, no, oh no -
Mile 4
Must. Get. That. Song. Out. Of. My. Head. Replacement:
Okay, it's not about rain. But it's got a good cadence, I know all the words, and if you sing the chorus as "rain, rain" instead of "dance, dance," it works.
They're from Chicago! My brother's friends have partied with them! I wonder if it's true what my brother told me, that the lead singer always wears a hat because he's bald? While I'm on it, I wonder what really broke up Pete Wentz and Ashley Simpson? And I wonder if Pete Wentz was really upset that his penis pictures leaked, or if he's secretly another Anthony Weiner? [ed. note: it would be embarrassing to admit how much time I spent on this topic.]
Mile 5
The leggies are feeling very fresh tonight! No, you did not just say "leggies," not even when you were having a conversation with yourself, did you really now?
Home - home - home - almost there.
Blah blah blah, something about regretting the runs you don't do and not the runs you do, blah blah, rain is refreshing, blah blah blah.
I hope your leggies have recovered - loved this post!
ReplyDeleteOMG you are SO hilarious...love that last little paragraph especially. I ran in the rain last night, too! About 4 miles and I really enjoyed it. Actually my last two runs have been very enjoyable, so it's possible I am out of my rut :) Are you running long on Sunday w/NYRC?
ReplyDeleteI should suck it up and run in the rain already. We FINALLY had a sunny day today after 2 weeks straight of rain (aren't you glad you didn't visit during rainy season?), but it's meant to rain again tomorrow...
ReplyDeleteHaha, it's always entertaining to learn what other people think about when they're running. And it reminds me that my mid-run musings are not always as ridiculous as they seem when I think back on them later. Also: lol @ Hilary Duff & FOB. Throwbacks, yo
ReplyDeleteLoved this post! Hilarious! Makes me wonder what my running chain of thought might look like in written form...I think I'm too scared to go there.
ReplyDeleteCHOCOLATE RAIN!!! sometime i must show you my tay zonday impression. it's especially fun after a few beers.
ReplyDeleteI find the song "Dance, Dance" entirely un-danceable.
ReplyDeletethis post is amazing! i totally have thought the L&O ripped from the headlines speal!
ReplyDelete