On I went, out of the wood, passing the man leading without knowing I was going to do so. Flip-flap, flip-flap, jog-trot, jog-trot, curnchslap-crunchslap, across the middle of a broad field again, rhythmically running in my greyhound effortless fashion, knowing I had won the race though it wasn't half over, won it if I wanted it, could go on for ten or fifteen or twenty miles if I had to and drop dead at the finish of it, which would be the same, in the end, as living an honest life like the governor wanted me to. -Alan Sillitoe, "Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner"

Monday, April 30, 2012

Daily Mile

I don't really use Daily Mile. I've made my feelings on it clear in the past. But that doesn't mean I won't stoop to pimping Daily Mile if I'm mentioned in it.

Last week I had the... pleasure?... of running with Jeff, who was in town from Chicago. He's also launched a campaign to become Daily Miler of the week, which I think is some sort of popularity contest? I'm not really sure. But I am sure that he made enough awkward comments about not being a serial killer that I probably need to help him promote his contest.


CHICAGO - The Jeff H. campaign for Dailymiler of the week has taken a radical twist. After returning from an innocuous four mile run, Jeff found his apartment surrounded by paparazzi, demanding answers. The story had broke late last night on Tracy's running gossip blog that Jeff was not what he seemed to be. Jeff had only portrayed being an inspirational recreational runner in hopes of becoming the prestigious Dailymiler of the week. “I first suspected the deception in some early twitter interactions. Something didn’t seem right and all of his tweets didn’t seem genuinely inspirational,” Tracy stated on her scathing expose. “The truth needs to be told.”
The running community has been rocked by these allegations. “I feel lied to, I can’t believe that he would do this to his fans,” said Chanthana. “I don’t even think his motivations were genuine.” Chanthana, who had been in the process of recruiting Jeff to the #granatoracing elite inspirational team declined to comment further. Local runner Tony L. couldn’t believe the turn of events. “I admit, Jeff was that runner that I admire so,” Tony wistfully stated. “It’s so tragic when one’s heroes fail to live up their your expectations.” When asked to comment, Francesco S. could only express disbelief, “No, this can’t be. No.” Others expressed extreme anger. “There has to be repercussions for his actions. We thought he was inspirational. I bet he didn’t even listen to his body,” Maryjo Powrozek R. stated angrily. In an official press release, Dailymile founders Ben W. and Kelly K. stated “Jeff H. does not embody the spirit of the Dailymile community. His actions were reprehensible and shameful.”
Jeff quickly released a statement. “I regret that the Dailymile community had to find out I wasn’t inspirational. I thought by deceiving everyone I would more likely be elected Dailymiler of the week. I was wrong.” When asked if he was going to continue his campaign, Jeff responded, “Absolutely, my goal has not changed. This is just a bump in the road. However I am changing my platform. No more of the inspirational and motivational BS. No matter how hard you try, you can’t do anything you want. The best you can hope for is to reach your genetic potential. Just get your [censored] run in.”

11 comments:

  1. I haven't logged anything on there in....2-3 weeks. Oops.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And I haven't logged anything on there in... months?

      Delete
  2. I used to go through and periodically give you de-motivations. Sort of lost steam on that one. If I had some free time, I'd start a competing website, called Berate Mile.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would post on Berate Mile every day. I really would.
      You also need a feature for berating people on days they didn't workout.

      Delete
    2. Domain purchased.

      Delete
    3. SO. EXCITED. SO. EXCITED. Oh my gosh. Should we have t-shirts made up yet? Please. Please. Let me be in on the ground floor. Publicity, marketing, anything non-technical.

      Delete
  3. DAILY MILE BLOWS. LONG LIVE BERATE MILE.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Found the nomination form. Make me the least motivation dailymiler of the week ever. http://bit.ly/KvEbgA

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Here's what I just wrote:
      "Jeff is an inspiring, funny, motivational runner and all around good guy. I can honestly say that no one I know does more to promote dailymile. His entries are the sole reason that I continue to use the site!"

      Delete
  5. Thanks, you're the best. Or at least the adequately sufficient.

    ReplyDelete